What Is an Ethical Will? Meaning, Examples and How to Write One

What an ethical will means

An ethical will, sometimes called a legacy will, is a document in which a person sets down what they value and what they hope for the people they love. It might be a page long or fifty. It can hold life lessons, family stories, beliefs, apologies, gratitude and blessings.

The idea is very old. It has deep roots in Jewish tradition, where it is called a tzava’ah, and it is often traced back to the Hebrew Bible, where Jacob gathers his sons to bless them before he dies (Genesis 49). For centuries, parents wrote ethical wills to their children as letters of guidance. Today people of every background write them, often alongside their estate planning.

How it differs from a last will

A last will and testament is a legal document. It says who receives your property and who is in charge of carrying that out, and it has to meet formal legal requirements to be valid.

An ethical will does none of that. It is not legally binding, it does not transfer property, and it does not name anyone to act for you. It can be written in any form, at any time, and changed whenever you like. Its only job is to be read.

What to include

There is no required content, but most ethical wills cover some of these:

• Values. What you believe about honesty, work, money, family and faith, and where those beliefs came from.
• Lessons. What life taught you, including the expensive lessons.
• Stories. The family stories that explain the values. A belief lands harder when the reader knows what happened to produce it.
• Hopes. What you wish for your children and grandchildren.
• Gratitude and forgiveness. Thanks you never said, and any apology or forgiveness you want on the record.
• Blessings. A few words to particular people, by name.

Twelve questions to start from

A blank page is hard. A question is easier. Answer any of these, in any order, and you are already writing one.

1. What did your parents or grandparents teach you that you still live by?
2. What do you believe about work, and where did that belief come from?
3. What mistake taught you the most, and what would you tell someone about to make it?
4. What has faith, or a sense of meaning, given you?
5. What do you hope your children never lose, whatever else changes?
6. What do you wish you had learned sooner?
7. Which family stories do you want told after you, and why those ones?
8. What do you want your grandchildren to know about where the family came from?
9. Is there anything you want to apologise for, or to forgive?
10. What are you most grateful for?
11. How would you like the family to treat each other when you are not there to remind them?
12. What blessing would you give each of your children, by name?

An example

This is an illustrative example written for this page. It is not from a real person.

To my children and whoever reads this after them. My father ran a hardware store for thirty-one years and never once let a customer leave without the right screw, even when it meant driving it to their house after closing. I used to think that was stubbornness. I understand now it was the whole of his religion: do the job properly, and treat the person in front of you as if they matter, because they do.

I have not always lived up to that. I want you to try anyway. And when the two of you disagree, which you will, call each other before you call anyone else.

Ways to create one

• A letter. The traditional form. Write it by hand if you can; the handwriting becomes part of what is kept.
• A video. A few minutes, spoken straight to the people you mean. Keep it short and say the date at the start.
• A guided interview. Someone else asks the questions and you answer out loud. For people who freeze at a blank page, this is usually the easiest way in.

Many people combine them: an interview to find what they want to say, then a short letter to say it. If you want to write to one person in particular, a legacy letter is the same idea with a single reader in mind.

Creating one by talking

MyLifeMemoir produces an ethical will as part of the book, without calling it one. Rosie, an AI interviewer, asks the questions out loud and you answer by talking. Your spoken answers become text that you read and approve.

Three chapters do most of the work. What I Believe and What Matters asks what really matters to you and what role faith or meaning has played. Lessons and Wisdom asks about the biggest lessons life has taught you, what you have come to see differently, and what a younger person should worry less about. And Keepsakes, Photos, and Messages to the Family asks you to choose someone and speak to them directly, and to say what you would want a reader a hundred years from now to know.

Because Rosie follows up on what you say, the values arrive with the stories that produced them, which is what makes an ethical will worth reading. See how it works.